Martial Arts as Therapy
Fear is a primary motivator in all of us. It is an alarm that protects us against threats in our environment. We all spend our lives negotiating the implications of our fears. Many of these fears stem from our interactions with other humans. We may fear social ostracization, violence, manipulation, or rejection. But for many, the process of negotiating these fears is largely unconscious.
We convince ourselves to avoid social situations because Netflix sounds really good right now. We avoid applying to a dream job because we don’t think we are a good fit. We avoid closeness with our spouses because they are the problem. We are constantly fearful. So what do we do about it?
Martial arts isn’t the only way to get comfortable with fear but it is amongst the best ways of doing so. The fear of physical violence is profound. When I started training martial arts, I was confronted with the terror I feel at being physically dominated by other men. I should have seen it earlier, but I spent the first 32 years of my life obfuscating, justifying or ignoring this fear because I didn’t want to admit it to myself. But for the past six years, I have spent countless hours getting comfortable with this fear by dedicating myself to the study of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
The fear isn’t gone, but I know it better than I did and I continue to develop a comfort with it. I am more aware of when I am avoiding something important out of a fear of being socially ostracized. I am more conscious of the fear that someone will take what they want from me through force. Most importantly, I see the my fear of being vulnerable and open in my relationships and I am more aware of when to push through this fear and reveal myself.
My martial arts knowledge does not make me immune to fear, just like it doesn’t make me physically invincible. It simply allows me to see my fears and make a choice about whether to let them steer my life.
If these ideas interest you and you are curious about how martial arts can help you grow and become a person less driven by your fears, please reach out. I have openings for psychotherapy and coaching clients. You can reach me here: www.matthewtansey.com/contact
