Men and Therapy

Soon after embarking on my journey as a therapist, I started noticing a pattern. Around 80% of the people who sought me out for therapy were men. Broadly speaking, the approaches to therapy I had been taught didn’t seem to work with these clients.

In my training as a therapist, I had been taught that men needed to “get in touch with their emotions.” While this approach can help, I also found that feeling one’s feelings is only part of the picture. Our emotions are a valuable guide and it is true that being detached from them can harm us. But stoicism can serve a valuable purpose as well. In times of stress and challenge, setting aside one’s feelings for a greater purpose can be incredibly beneficial and meaningful.

Moreover, many men are action-oriented. They are focused on their competence, their reputation and their ability to serve the people they care for most. Nurturing and supporting this tendency in therapy can be of great help to male clients. I encourage men to foster these tendencies in order to be the most capable and compassionate versions of themselves.

If these thoughts I have shared today resonate with you, please reach out. I would love to hear from you. I have current openings for psychotherapy and coaching clients. You can contact me here: www.matthewtansey.com/contact